You know what truly bugs me? When I think of a fantastic idea, start working on it, develop it to originality, and then give up... I sometimes truly envy people that are talented and stubborn about their creations. At least they always seem to finish at lest one of their projects. I on the other hand keep torturing myself, hoping against hope that one of my many thoughts will see the world and be beloved by many. It's sad really: I do have refreshing ideas, some even brought to a form of perfection, yet every time I start working on one it ends up as a bunch of files in my hard drive or paper on my shelves. And to make things even worse my brain just won't leave it to rest! It continues developing both old and new stories, creating an illusion that I can pull it off if only I had back-up. Yeah right - been there, done that. Those who know how to produce would rather work on their own ideas then try and make someone else's dreams come true. Without some kind of stimulation (in most studios that is pay) people easily decide to quit. And so with team member leaving one by one soon I end up working alone again and later on give up myself. Thus another chapter of failure is added to my already overfilled collection...

Maybe someday I'll find a public but for now its back to the state of utter defeat. In conclusion, the novel I was so fond of is stuck at 33 pages and while I know what's suppose to happen next I just can't seem to write it. Each word I write sounds wrong and a question keeps spinning in my head: "Why am I bothering? It's not like anyone will actually notice it - the wider public enjoy visual over textual all the time, from pictures to animated features. Man, I wish I could see it as a movie like I originally thought it as". I'm completely outdone by others, like a newbie fighting with a group of elites. All that's left for me now is to keep hitting my head against a wall trying to let go of those streaming ideas… I'm not having much luck with that either. Damn I hate my nil motivation – can't do anything with it!


In hope of getting the strength to finish it, I’m posting what I’ve written so far on my web site (which I also never seem to construct… ) and I’ll provide a link below. I strongly encourage everyone to visit and read it (I promise it’s NOT some amateur story). It is about some specific lives in the town of Oak Leaf (made the place up – or did I?), love and trust, and how they change to better or to worse. It does feature one anthropomorphic element, but it just merges into the rest so nicely that this both is and isn’t a “furry” fiction. In fact, it’ll appear much later in the story then one might expect. Also, I suggest listening to "Leona Lewis - Bleeding Love" before reading since it was one of the main inspirations for the tale and may help you imagine a more visual experiance (my form was a film).


I won’t beg anybody to read this, that’s just too low. However I will ask you to take some time and go through my work, leave a few comments (in this post or send a note please) and if possible have fun. Heck, I’d appreciate any type of support!


Just remember that it might take a bit while I answer since my internet is rather prone to disconnection. Who knows? Maybe some encouragements help me end the story?

Pleasant reading and hope to hear from you!

***Link to the story***

Tags: romance, crime, anthro, drama, philosophical, fiction with reality elements…